Why me?
by TheeeePunkin
Summary: Shizuo confessed to Izaya, making him confused. Why is he choosing me? What have I done to earn him? Simply.. nothing.


**I don`t own DURARARA and honestly: I don`t want to. I would have completly fucked up the story :D**

 **Anyway; Short sweet story bout my favourite couple *^***

 **Have fuuun~**

 _Why?_  
 _Why me?_  
 _Why was he choosing me?_  
 _What was so special about me?_  
 _What have I done- other than to screw up peoples lifes- to earn him?_  
 _Simple; nothing._  
 _I don't get it. I hate it, how this thing made me feel._  
 _I was confused. I'd done nothing good in my life. Nothing just nearly good enough for him._  
 _I just wasn't good enough for him. And how could I ever be? I had so long ago given up on the idea of being loved. So I made everyone hate me. I'd become a bastard, a flea, a dipolar idiot, who destroid all chances of a nearly healthy relationship with just somebody. Oukay, they can't love me. So what? Hate is a strong feeling too. Hate's enough. That's what I told myself all the years._

So. Why. Me.?!  
I don't get it, you idiot. Why fall for me? I tried to kill you, I paid for them to shot you.. Why choose me?

I laid in my bed, thinking hard. I felt down. Just like I felt for days now.  
Shizuo told me, he'd fallen for me.  
Yeah, for me.. I had just gotten this whole sentimental bullshit under control- had took enough time- and promised myself to move on. And than this..

"Nee, what's wrong Shizu-chan? Don't have the balls to do it?"  
I stood there, pressed against a wall by my favourite monster Shizuo Hewajima. And I shivered.  
It wasn't from fear, it was from longing. Those stormy eyes and the blond hair dangling in all directions. I wish he'd smile for me. Just once.  
But of course, I'm Izaya Orihara mind you, I wouldn't let him see it. Not even a glimpse of the tremor he'd coursed. No, I put on a mask and acted like always.  
"Just shut up, flea." His voice was soft and it was then that I realised that he looked other than usual. He wasn't mad at all. He looked almost.. calm?  
"Oh see, what was that?" I sent him an arrogant smirk. "The brute have at least a few manners."  
I acted like always, said it before. I was alone long enough. And I would surely not spill my guts just because Shizu-chan thought he should show me another side of him. Well, at least kinda. I'm not some stupid highschool-girl!  
"Why do you keep on coming to Ikebukuro?"  
His question took me off guard.  
"Be-because I want to see how my beautiful lovely humans interact. They are soo wonderfull, Shizu-chan." Oh shit. Even I knew that I could lie better than this. "Well, I don't expect you to understand it. You're just a stupid protozoan an-"  
"Then why do to keep making me angry?" He cutted me off.  
"Well.."  
What the hell? Where does all this came from? When had he learned to add one and one?  
Come on, say something..  
"Well.. Because I like to see you lose you're temper. It's fun to watch you turn into a killermaschine with no sense of-"  
And then he kissed me.  
Oh well, I didn't get it directly. I stood there awfully long with wide eyes, my arms just pressed to my side.. in a kind of shock.  
But then my brain caught up and I kissed back.  
He was gentle. I never imagined him to be this gentle. I knew him as a monster, what would you think?  
I.. kind of liked it. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I felt my cheeks heat up.  
Somewhen we parted- lungs screamed for air- and he looked me in the eyes. Not at all angry for the first time in my life he looked at me. And then he smiled. I've seen him smiling often. But never they were directed towards me.  
Exactly in this second I became aware, that I not at all burried my feelings deep down. And even if I had; Now they were back. Stupid shizu-chan for making me so confused.  
"See ya tomorrow? Same time, but Celty and I wanna meet in the park, so let's avoid this area."  
And then he was gone.  
I just stood there with my mouth hanging open and tried to catch up with what just happend. Did he really kissed me?

Haha, I felt so dumb then. Funny, that's almost a year ago. It was the day when everything started. We still had our daily chases, often in fact, but now mostly because we knew what would wait for us at the end.  
My stomach churned over everytime I'd cut him since then. And he treated every wound and mark he left on me. That made avoiding creepy Shinra muuuch easier.  
So why tell me? Why couldn't he let it be just like it was?  
"If that's a joke, Shizu-chan," I thought out loud, "It's a really bad one."  
Somehow he got me where it hurts. And I was afraid of coming out of here with a broken heart- again.

I laid in bed just a couple of hours more. I guess I musst've been there the whole day, cause when I heard a key moving in the keyhole of my apartment, I knew it was him. And he only came by dark. I told him to do so, when I handed him the key.

 **SHIZUO'S POV**

I walked down the streets of Ikebukuro calmly down to Shinjuku.  
I knew what would wait for me when I came there. A little figur with raven colored silky hair, dark red eyes and presumably he'd also wear his favourite fur trimmed jacket.  
Jepp, the picture let me smile from one ear to the other.  
Izaya. His name soundet like music to my ears.  
There had long enough being false hate placed between us. About one year earlier I'd finally come to the conclussion that I might not hate him. Well at least not at all.  
I had him pressed up at a wall in the perfect pose to die, but I couldn't. In fact, another part of my body reacted on towards being so close to him.  
So had our 'relationship' -dare I call it like that- started.  
But I fell tired of all these hunting and throwing things and yelling bloody murder and other threats after him.  
I don't wanna have to worry bout him getting hurt by my strengh.  
I realised it one morning, when I treatened a deep cut on his shoulder from one of the things I'd trown after him. I don't wanna do this anymore. He had my fully attention either way or another.  
So why hunt him down the streets when I could just walk beside him and hold his hand? Or go to the cinema with him? I don't even care what we could do. As long as we're doing something. So that everyone fucking knows that this flea is MY flea. And so that nobody tries to fuck with him- In every sense. I don't like to share.  
I don't even know when it started. I guess this feeling was there from the beginning, slowly starting to grow.  
But I foreseen it the first time we met. His red piercing eyes and his pearly white skin had fucking freaked me out. I made a mistake, yeah. Years past I decided to hate him. Or to claim it. Argh whatever.  
I wasn't good at this mind things. That was his thing. I was strong. He was smart. Had ever been so.  
"Tch.. Ya really making things hard for me." I thought out loud.  
I tried to be sweet. I tried to be perfect for him.  
But I wasn't.  
I was destroing and I was fucking messed up. I had this super strengh making me the moster of Ikebukuro. Even Celty was afraid of me sometimes, I guess. She had this look- well, not look, since she hadn't had a head, but still.  
Whatever.  
I was on my way down to Shinjuku. Izaya had been off the whole day. Not responding to my messages, not answering my calls. And dare I say it; I was afraid.  
I had confessed to him a few day earlier. And since then he was a little off. But staying away a whole day? This wasn't my flea.  
So I'm going to make him tell me what's wrong. Was it really that surprising that I've fallen for him? I think not. He's just as broken as I am. He claims to love humanity, but I guess that's just an excuse. He's bipolar and his psyche has more than just one crack, but hey; We live in Ikebukuro. Whose hasn't has a crack here?  
So why him, you ask? Can't tell yer. Maybe cause I wasn't able to hurt him really. Maybe he was all after me for all this years. Maybe cause I felt my heart sink when I heard that he was hurted by a knife.  
Maybe cause he's just driving me fucking insane. Maybe cause he was just as alone as I was.  
I realised it a few weeks ago. Heard Shinra say it to him. He was Izayas only real friend, you know. I was standing outside his apartment, when I heard his muffled voice through the door.  
"I can't say it often enough Izaya! Come clear with your feelings. You finally have someone who wants to be with you. Can't you see it? He's head after heals for you!" Then there was a little pause. "What? You tell me it's just sex? Keep telling that yourself, if you want to, but I know that you know deep down, that it isn't. Shizuo can be your cure. He could pull you out off your lonelyness. Out of this fucking excuse of a life you're living. He could save you. And he's the only one able to do so."  
Shinras words hammered themselfs in my brain. I could save the flea? Well, I tried to.  
That was why, after a long day of work, I was on my way to his place, instead of going right to my apartment, pouring me a glas of milk and going to bed.  
I wouldn't be able to sleep, so why not looking after my little demon?

Shizuo opened the door to Izayas apartment slowly. It fastinated him how much the raven trusts him to give him the keys. A year before he would have just barked in and destroid everything in his path.  
After closing the door and laying the keys next on top of the little cupboard, he went on searching for him.  
Normally he would sit behind one of his computerscreens or infront of the big windows, looking down to his "lovely" humans thinking out another plan to destroy ones life or anothers.  
But the apartment was dark. Not even Namie seemed to be here anymore. That was off.  
"Flea?", Shizuo asked out loud. Where could he be?  
The blond walked the feew stairs up to the second level where the bedroom was.  
He knocked. " Izaya? Are you there?"  
He heard a muffled "No I'm not" and opened the door.  
"Hey what's going on? Are you ill or something?"  
"... Really Shizu-chan?" Izaya poked his head out of the cocon of covers and pillows he took himself in and sent him a glare.  
Shizuo sat down on the bed slowly, realising that something was really off with his flea.  
"What's wrong Izaya?"

"Oh com'on. At least tell me something."

"Ya won't talk with me?"  
No I don't want to., the raven thought still, holding back the tears.  
"Izaya?" Shizuo pulled the covers away from his face and Izaya let him do so. The blond wouldn't leave without answers, he realised.  
"Wha-" Slowly Shizuo raised his hand and washed the tears on his cheeks away. "What's wrong flea?"  
His voice was a lot calmer and much softer than before.  
In fact, Izaya thought, was this the first time the brute saw him cry.  
"Nothing." he mumbled and tried to hide himself again.  
Shizuo let him do, just to untie his vest and to slip out of his hemd. Than he slowly crawled under the covers inside of the ravens cocon.  
"Whaa-? You've got to be kidding me Shizu-chan!" For a moment Izaya forgot about his thoughts and snuggeled closer to the bigger man.  
Shizuo choosed to shut up about how Izayas words and actions were completly different things. He liked the feeling of having the raven close to him. He fitted perfectly in his arms.  
They laid like this for more than one hour, cuddling under the covers without the need to move or even to smoke a cigarette, when Izaya suddenly spoke.  
"I'm afraid, you know.."  
"Bout what?" Shizuo asked, voice as soft as Izayas had been.  
"About.." He heard the smaller breath in deep. "..of getting hurt.. I was alone so long. And then again here are you. Chasing me every day. Screaming my name, reminding me that the is at least one person that would feel something when I'd suddenly drop dead."  
The blond hugged him harder almost instantly.  
"I.. You told me you'd fallen for me." So, Orihara, why not go all the way? "And I don't know why. Why me? Why not, I don't know, every other person on this planet? What's so special about me? Well.. What's so 'lovely' about me, Shizuo?"  
Izaya burried his red face in Shizuos chest, feeling slighty ashamed of himself.  
"Why? You really asking me why?" And then Shizuo took his chin in his hand, forcing him to look him in the eye.  
"I can't tell ya why exactly I've fallen for yer in the end. But first you look fucking sexy." He ignored the blush on Izayas face, but holded him in place when he tried to hide his face again.  
"Second yer driving me insane. From our first meeting on you still can inflict such strong feelings in me. Ya know I'm not good with words and ya know I'm not the brightest, but I know when I feel something for someone. It's bout the little stop my heart does, when something I thrown at you really catches yer. It's the fact that whatever I'm doing at the moment, you just have to walk by and all my thoughts are bout you."  
He washed Izayas tears away again.  
"An' maybe cause I feel just as lonely as you do. Don't even try to deny it. I heard Shinra and ya talking." He smiled down at Izaya. "I believe that when two people are lonely, they can be happy togheter. As easy as it sounds. Yer lonely and it seems we're bound to eatch other. So there has to be reason why I keep finding you, why I kinda feel it when yer setting a foot in Ikebukuro."  
By the time Shizuo said this, Izaya was long flat out crying. How? Why? He had so much more questions, but he decided, they could wait for another time. Now he was just happy where he was. And when Shizuo let his chin go, he snuggled closer again to the monster of Ikebukuro.  
To MY monster of Ikebukuro, mind you all.  
Then Shizuo remindet something Izaya said too.  
"Oi flea?" He said quietly.  
"Yeah?"  
"You won't get hurt. A long as I'm here, I'll protect ya. Even if it means I have to protect you from myself. I can't promise ya to not hurt you. But I'll do everything in my power to not let this happen. Even if you don't lov-"  
"I love you"  
The words were out of his mouth before Izaya even knew he was the one confessing.  
There was a moment of silence and Izaya was about to hold it back, when he suddenly felt Shizuo shiver. He looked up to see tears stream down the blonds cheeks.  
"I..I lo-ove you too" He sobbed with a big dumb smile on his face.

Who would have ever thought the two of them would finaly come clear with themselfs?  
Erika would surely freak out once she gets to know.  
But Izaya didn't care. He laid there hugged from the man he loved and driftet of to sleep, exhaused from all the crying and thinking and being confused.

 _I love you. Maybe I'll get hurt in the end. But know what? No risk no fun. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of everything. I've never hated you. I was afraid. I was afraid so long. Now you're here, making me feel loved the first time in years. You're here and we're not fucking nore are we trying to kill each other. So yeah, maybe we are bound to each other. Maybe we're even made for each other, even if it took us such an awfully long time to get it. But I'm happy with this._  
 _I love you._  
 _And maybe..even if I guess it'll take lot of time.. I'm oukay with everyone knowing it. I'm oukay with being in a real relationship._

They would still have some work to do. Izaya was fucked up in more ways than Shizuo thought, but they would deal with it. After all they had years of fighting behind them. So they would overcome every argument there is to come. And really? What could bring these two together after a past like theirs?

 **AAAAH! I'm ready *_***  
 **Please rewiew in the comments. Ya can comment every mistake I did. I'd be happy with it :D**  
 **Still, this's my second story. And maybe not my best, but I have a lot of work to do. But I read all your stories and I just loooove them all. So I HAD to do one too :D**


End file.
